We did appreciate the feedback about the oil issue as it is something that in four years of hosting we had never encountered before. And first and foremost I would like to apologize that at any point you felt like the conversation we had was awkward.
I would also like to take the time to clear a few things up: The issue we had was with the peppermint oil burner that you had, and I tried to make it an approachable conversation where I stated that we would prefer if you did not use it and gave our reasoning. And as I attempted to explain , which if I did poorly I take full responsibility, the issue is NOT about my brother who is asthmatic though granted I did use him as an example in our conversation, but more about other guests who will be arriving after you. Some of whom may experience discomfort or even have allergies at certain strong smells. The second issue would be a liability one from any 'burn based' scent diffuser, whether that be a candle, incense, or oil. The third would be simply any sort of discomfort we as hosts might have experienced with the scent you or any guest would choose. We do apologize for not making that clear prior to your arrival and have updated our listing to reflect our wish that guests not use items such as candles, oil diffusers, or incense. That all said, I would like to point out that Airbnb is predicated on a certain level of respect and communication between guests and hosts. This "burden" you speak of goes both ways does it not? Or would you expect to walk into a hotel and light candles the moment you entered your room? Or stay with a friend for a few nights and without asking beforehand, expect them to allow you to change the scent of the entire house with your oil diffuser? Again, I apologize that you felt awkward in approaching us and that your visit was not as ideal as you had hoped, but if you continue to use Airbnb and stay with hosts again I would encourage you to keep the lines of communication open and remember that you are staying in someone's home. It's never a "burden" to us as hosts to work with our guests needs, and we are sorry that you felt as though your needs were not met as we attempted to balance your requests versus those of the guests we will host in the future.