It's unfortunate that we are not able to satisfy and meet everyone's expectations.
There are no beaches in Panama that are private and we do not advertise that the house is as such, especially when there is a town only five minutes away by boat with a population of more than 15,000 people.
I was at Vista Azul Lodge a few weeks ago and over the weekend there was maybe 60-80 people and 10-20 people during the weekdays, usually from around 10 am - 5pm.
Some guests love "the flair of the locals" enjoying a day at the beach, and some don't.
The village of Carenero, you call "a slum", is actually about a kilometer (1,000 meters) away.
I know about 90% of the good folks who live in the village, in their charming Caribbean style homes, we are not all as fortunate to live in luxury.
The government is currently installing a sewage treatment plant for the village, which is wonderful.
Our local telephone Co. Cable & Wireless offers 4G internet speed which is the highest available at the moment, all I can say is, "better something than nothing". But I was able to stream my football (soccer) matches when at the lodge.
Regarding the A/C, unfortunately there is only one good technician in the islands and he is always busy, especially during the high season. We apologize for the inconvenience for the one A/C not working during your stay.
We used to have house snorkel gear and fins but unfortunately guests lost or broke them, so we decided not to replace them as Luis down the coast at Bibi's, rents them out along with kayaks, surf and stand up paddle boards etc.
Luxury accommodations these days can vary from anywhere upwards from $300 p/n. As a party of 7 guests, I'm assuming you used 6 master suits, one for Jan and your wife and each of your adult children would have a private master suite to themselves. You paid $3,150 for 4 nights, which equals to $131 p/room p/night, and you had a whole house (5,000sq. ft.) right on the beach, not a small hotel room.
We would like to thank you very much for your posting, as it will help some future guests in enabling them to make a better decision, thank you.
Andrea and Peter